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Showing posts with label Crystal Michelle Fallin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Crystal Michelle Fallin. Show all posts

Sunday, December 25, 2022

“The Snow Maiden” A Poem

Crystal Michelle Fallin 
Snow Maiden, St. Augustine Nutcracker Ballet 1997

 The Snow Maiden

The Snow Cascaded, Swirled and Blew
In the Magical Kingdom
Of the Land of Snow;
Amidst the Snow Flakes and Fairies,
The Snow Maiden Dances,
Twirling on Pointed Toes
From Moonbeam to Shadow;
Her Silhouette we followed 
From Forest to Meadow;
Snow and Ice are Her Friends,
The Coated White Earth is her Floor;
Center Stage from Heaven
The Stars Shine on Her,
Seeking no other;
She is the Snow Maiden
Graceful and Fair,
In her Fairy White Dress
With Star Light in her Hair;
Dancing in Bliss
With no Worries or Cares,
Delicate and Graceful
From Finger Tip to Toe,
She's Eloquent to Behold;
Her Eyes Sparkles like Crystals,
Amidst the Snow Fairies and Sprites,
She Waltzes in Solace
With Mystical Delight;
From Winter's Breath She Sprang
Twirling and Dancing in the Chilled Air
Through the Forest and the Fields
The Wind Whispers her name,
Brilliant and Translucent, Crystal
The Maiden of Heaven's White Veil.

Published 1997
by Peggy Fallin

Wednesday, December 21, 2022

“Glory to God in the Highest and On Earth Peace to Those Whom His Favors Rests”

Crystal Michell Fallin, Lead Angel
Nutcracker Ballet 1996

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.  An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.  But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

Luke 2:8-14

Monday, January 31, 2022

Sunday, October 3, 2021

Artist Crystal Michelle Fallin Artwork


Crystal’s artwork “Tulips in Blue Vases.”  The composition consist of 8 sections of flowers, vases, and cabins.  It has an modern abstract feel with the shapes, lines and dimensions of the different objects against the wall and background.  Crystal was in the third grade age 8 in 1993 when she did this artwork  She was gifted at an early age in drawing and selecting primary, secondary and complementary colors.

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

Dance of Sorrow and Joy

Beloved Daughter
Crystal Michelle Fallin
June 19, 1984 - Newman, Georgia
August 18, 2019 - The Valley, Anguilla 
In Loving Memory 


Friday, September 10, 2021

Moultrie Creek - What does Grief feel like?


What does Grief feel like?

Grief feels like you are moving through a bad dream you can’t wake up from. 

Grief is constantly asking “Why?” and knowing even if you had the answers they would never be good enough.

Grief is feeling lost in the places you have been before and being homesick for the past.

Grief feels like a deep ache that you can’t seem to pinpoint where it hurts…but the pain is there. 

Grief is feeling a part of you went away with them on the day they died. 

Grief is people saying lots of unhelpful things because they want you to feel better. Little do they know that when they say “They would want you to happy/strong” makes us feel that we are disappointing the ones we lost for feeling like we do. 

Grief is just going through the motions of your day in a steady haze.

Grief is the constant tug of war of holding on tightly to what was and letting go of what might have been. 

Grief is walking through a thick brain fog with your loss always on your mind but your daily tasks far from it. 

Grief is Googling if how you are feeling is normal and desperately looking for a timelines for when you might be better. Being rushed by others to move on makes this even harder to heal on your own time. 

Grief is having the overwhelming feeling of guilt for moving on without them or for things that were said or went unsaid. 

Grief is comparing yourself to how others are grieving and wondering if you are doing it right.

Grief is losing that feeling of “being home”. 

Grief is the feeling of being alone when you are with a group of people. 

Grief shakes you to your core, spins you around and drops you off in the middle of wreckage exposing your vulnerability. 

Grief is judging yourself for not being further than you are in your healing. Talk to yourself like you are consoling your best friend if they were going through the same thing. 

Grief can make you feel anger and question your faith. 

Grief can feel different from day to day even hour by hour. There are emotional ups and downs, drop offs, exhausting climbs and switch backs. 

Grief is the tossing and turning of sleepless nights and just wanting some respite from your own thoughts.

Grief cant be outrun. It catches up with you. Feeling it (even the sharpest edges) is the only way through. 

Grief can sometimes feel like looking at the world through a dark filter with the colors you used to love muted in comparison.

Grief is whispering “I miss you” and looking everywhere for a sign from them.  

Grief is worrying that you will never feel normal and comfortable in your own life again.

Grief feels like just wanting a hug or a simple “I’m here for you” instead of people trying to rationalize your loss or try to fix how you are feeling. 

Grief is the rude awakening that when your whole world world has stopped, the rest of the world keeps moving unscathed. 

Grief feels like choosing to be alone because small talk is exhausting and being with people who can’t relate feels even more isolating. 

Grief feels like suffocating on the reality that there will be no new memories so you hold on so tightly to the past. 

Grief feels like backing out of plans because you aren’t sure how you will feel on that particular day.

Grief feels like fear. We have seen that life is fragile and that can bring out anxiety and panic attacks. 

Grief is waking up in the morning and losing them all over again.

Grief is going about your everyday tasks and being hit with a wave of sadness and disbelief at the realization that they are gone. 

Grief feels like being deep in dispair and for some time, it may feel like you don’t have a place in this world. 

Grief feels like being back to the first day you lost them after hearing a particular song or driving past a place you enjoyed together.

Grief is feeling a little jealous of seeing others with their loved ones and envious of seeing people in their mundane lives. 

Grief feels like dreading holidays and special events instead of how you used to look forward to them.

Grief is trying to pretend you are ok on the outside while feeling torn apart on the inside. 

Grief is wanting others to mention their loved one and wishing people knew that it helps to hear their name and stories about them. They are never far from our minds anyways.

Grief is learning that these feelings are ever changing and it will be with us in some degree for the rest of our lives. 

Grief is a measure of how much love you gave them while they were here so the pain is of losing them fills that empty space. In time, we learn how to live with that heaviness. 

The heartache begins to soften. 

Tears and smiles can coexist. 

Grief is learning how to keep them close to us in other ways. The best memories can never die. And because of that, we will carry it with us until we see them again

Written by Kristie Reitz

The After Glow

Crystal Michelle Fallin June 19, 1984 - August 18, 2019

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Crossing the Bar

September 7 is the 2nd anniversary of laying  my daughter Crystal to rest near her grandmother’s grave in Columbus Georgia.  To honor her, we visited the river bank where her friends held a life’s celebration honoring her life.  We said a prayer and threw a bouquet of flowers on the river watching the tide carrying them to her “crossing the bar” to the other side.  

Crossing the Bar

 - 1809-1892

 Sunset and evening star,

  And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
  When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
  Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
  Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
  And after that the dark! 
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
  When I embark;

For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place
  The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face 
  When I have cross’d the bar.

Monday, September 6, 2021

Wayfaring Stranger


Wayfaring Stranger
Song by Emmylou Harris

I am a poor wayfaring stranger
While traveling through this world of woe
Yet there's no sickness, toil or danger
in that bright world to which I go

I'm going there to see my father
I'm going there no more to roam
I'm only going over Jordan
I'm only going over home

I know dark clouds will gather around me
I know my way is rough and steep
Yet beauteous fields lie just before me
Where God's redeemed their vigils keep

I'm going there to my mother
She said she'd meet me when I come
I'm only going over Jordan
I'm only going over home.

Crossing Over to the Over Side


September 7, 2019 is the day we laid our daughter, Crystal Michelle Fallin to rest close to her grandmother's grave in Columbus, Georgia.  They are together on that peaceful shore.  God gives me hope.

"In my heart, I'm Celebrating your life at the river, relinquishing your hand and watching you cross over to that peaceful shore.  You are on the other side, safe and at peace waiting for the day your love ones too can cross over tot he other side."

Tuesday, July 6, 2021

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams


Annabel Lee
by Edgar Allan Poe

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this  maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love--
I and my Annabel Lee--
With a love that the winged seraphs of Heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,
Went envying her and me--
Yes!--that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we--
Of many far wiser than we--
And neither the angels in Heaven above
Nor the demons down under the sea
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee'
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling--my darling--my life and my bride.
In her sepulchre there by the sea--
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Dedicated to my daughter
Crystal Michelle Fallin
June 19, 1984 - August 18, 2019

Saturday, June 19, 2021

Crystal Expressions


These are just a few of the different types of greeting cards I have designed using my daughter's Art.  Birthday Cards, Thinking of You, Hello, Thank You, Christmas Cards, Motivational and inspirational cards, Encouragement cards, etc.  These  cards have been mailed to nursing homes, veterans, foster children, assistant living residents, hospitals, school, shut-ins, Ronald McDonald House, Care ministry lists, throughout the US, Canada, England, Germany, Belgium,  France, Scotland, and so on.

Artist Crystal Michelle Fallin


For her birthday, I honor my daughter today through her art.  This is a collection of Crystal's colored pencil artistry consisting of creative drawings of her own unique interpretations of classic Disney characters.  The collection includes Chateau de Chambord and Belle from Beauty and the Beast, and "A Beautiful Life" mermaids inspired by Ariel from The Little Mermaid.  Her art graces the covers of Greeting and Handcrafted Cards, Notebooks, Journals and gifts for children and the young at heart.

I use her art to touch the lives of others for encouragement, kindness and love to those who are ill, isolated and lonely, to connect on an emotional level with people in need.  The groups and organizations include but not limited to:  The Angel Card Project; Cards for Hospitalized Kids; Blessings in a  Backpack; Small Acts Big Change; Smiles for Seniors; Braid Missions; Kind Cards for Cool Kids; Postcards for Kindness; From the Heart - UK; Random Acts for Cardness - Card Showers and Smiles for Kids, Three Wishes for Ruby's Residents, etc.  

Crystal Michelle Fallin
June 19, 1984 - August 18, 2019

Friday, April 30, 2021

Reaching for a Dream


Not all angels reside in heaven.  Many walk the earth and are our guardians.  My angel is in heaven.  She joined her grandmother at the Eastern Gate August 18, 2019.  Her grandmother told her two months earlier that she would be waiting for her at the Eastern Gate.  She told Crystal to live a good life and she will be waiting for her.  Crystal cried out wanting to go to heaven to be with her grandmother.  Little did any of us know the day would come so soon; within 4 weeks after her grandmother left this earth, a angel lead Crystal gently by the hand to join her heavenly Father.  God is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34.18).  God knows what is best for each of us.  He comforts and takes care of the weary and heart broken.  I have to believe that God heard her cries. Nothing is impossible with God.  

Jesus replied, "What is  impossible with man is possible with God."

Luke 16:27 

In loving memory
Crystal Michelle Fallin
June 19, 1984 - August 18, 2019

Saturday, April 10, 2021

Letting Go to Move Forward


"We know that our loved one has died.  Do we recognize that in that death a part of us has died, too!  The part of us that lived in our relationship to that person alive in the world has died.  The part of us that lived in expectation of a future on earth together has died.  The part of us that enjoyed the commonality of shared memories has died.  This is a lot to lose...  We have to let go and then in the spaces where those deaths have occurred, new life will spring.  Some of the new life may be our new relationship with our lost love."  ~Martha Hickman  

"At every point in the human journey we find that we have to let go in order to move forward; and letting go means dying a little.  In the process we are being created anew, awakened afresh to the source of our being."  ~Kathleen Fischer

My journal of grief for my daughter Crystal involves a part of me dying.  I have turned to the spirit of her creativity in her art work to help move forward.  My new relationship is with her as an artist and her legacy of writing notes and cards for the people she loved.  I have continued that legacy with  my Card Ministry "Crystal Expressions."  I joined multiple groups "Cards of Kindness, Cards for Cool Kids, Small Acts Big Change, Braid Missions, Smiles for Seniors, etc. to share her passion for coloring and designing cards.  It gives me comfort sharing her artwork with others.

I have opened my hand and heart to relinquish and to receive.

Friday, March 12, 2021

The Joy and Sadness of Itsy Bitsy Spider

The memories of my daughter as she was growing up dancing, singing, laughing, riding her bike, playing with her toys, watching Disney movies, drawing and coloring brings me so much joy and appreciation of her talents, personality, fun loving and adventurous nature. This journey of loss and grief is a long one but I also feel joy and grateful to God for giving me this precious daughter to share and love for a short time. When Crystal was in kindergarten I made a spider costume for her Kindergarten play.  She was the itsy bitty spider that crawled up the water spout.  Down came the rain, and washed the spider out.  Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain, and the itsy bitsy spider went up the sprout again.  I also read to her the nursery rhyme of Little Miss Muffet.  I loved those rhymes when I was her age and it was a joy to share them with her and to sew her the costume.  I feel both joy of my own childhood memories, joy of the memories of her in her costume as well as sadness when I hear these nursery rhymes.  I can see beyond the pain with appreciation and joy of having her as my daughter.  The threads of Joy and Sadness are part of the tapestry woven together in my daily life.  As long as I breath my love for her is and always will be a part of me.

Little Miss Muffet

Little miss Muffet she sat on her tuffet, eating her curds eating and whey
Along came a spider who sat down beside her
And frightened miss Muffet away.

Sunday, February 28, 2021

Filling the Empty Space

 In filling the empty space from the love one I have lost, Life has giving me an opportunity to share the artistic and creative work of Crystal's color pencil drawings and coloring.  I now have a card ministry called "Crystal Expressions" which is a collection of her artwork used in handcrafted cards.  I use Crystal's art to bring smiles to seniors, hospitalized kids, foster children and those who are lonely, isolated and suffering.  These cards were mailed to "Small Acts Big Change" to be distributed to nursing homes and assistant living facilities.  The spirit of Crystal's art lives on and is enjoyed by the elderly and children across the United States, Canada, Scotland, Holland, Germany, France and England.  These are the places where her art has been shared to bring encouragement and a smile.